~SIrIH sUdaH PuLaNg KeGaGanG~

Sirih sudah pulang ke gangang
aziati aziz membuka gelanggang....

The last time i had really involved and recited my pantun was back when i was in form five. God, i've almost forgotten the nerve wrecking feeling of coming out with a reply in less than one minute, the demure and the air that a pemantun possessed and the beauty of the words arranged in delievering your intentions...how i missed them all. Anyway, i am given another opportunity to experience them again next week, inshallah. Yes, im going to represent IPBA next week in a pesta pantun entitled Sirih Berlipat Pinang Berkacip. I hope i wont embarrassed myself and my other teammates in front of the crowd. My skills are very rusty now, so does my vocabulary, given the 5 years not berpantun with anyone. Hm.. there were so much to revise and to improve in a short time. Im nervously excited! Pen-off.

~InTerLudE~

My poor blog, I have neglected you. I'm afraid time is a luxury which I don't have at the moment. To keep you readers happy, I have here a cop-out entry : the song that is playing in my head at the moment ever since i drove to my brother's house last week .

Bila Terasa Rindu (Dafi)

Apa agaknya khabarmu disana
Disiniku sedang dibelenggu rindu
Beginikah rasa siksa perpisahan

Sungguh anehnya hidup berasingan
Hati merasa bagai tertinggal disitu
Meskipun ku puja jauh beribu batu
Sesaat seperti setahun lamanya
Semasa kau tiada apa yang terdaya

Bila terasa rindu
Kusebut namamu
Dengan harapan
Kaukan muncul dalam tidur

Bila terasa rindu kubayang wajahmu
Dalam angan dan baru daku terasa bagai disembuh

ooo jauh sekali hidup disini berbeza
Beribu kali lagi kuselesa disana
Tak sabar menanti detik kepulangan
Namum hingga itu apa yang termampu

Terlintas di fikiran
Untuk meminggirkan saja semua pencarian disini
Tetapi ini sebahagian dari pengorbanan
Bekalan andainya hari sukar mencabar .. oooooo

Too much? A bit..i guess. but chill, just dont infused your thought with the notion that i'm in love with someone okay cause it's so not true afterall. Well.. at least, not yet at the moment. Actually this song reminds me a lot about Auckland. You know how music can bring you to a certain place ? This song delievers a perfect refelction of my feeling at the moment. I miss Auckland.

I remember Auckland not as a physical entity, but as a landscape of emotions. The truth is I find it hard to recall the names of places and streets and where they would be charted on any map that your hands can lay on to. But trust me, I do remember the first time I set my foot over there, and the following days, months and year: all the struggle, the pain, the laughter, the tears,the happiness, the heartbroken episodes...God, I could still envision myself over there, how strong i used to be and how fragile i was at times. I love to return to Auckland one day, but not in the near future. Once there, i cant wait to retrace my steps and see how far i've come. Pen-off.

~YaNG TerInDaH~

aku pasrah
aku mengalah
tiada lagi resah
tiada lagi lelah
ketentuan-Mu ya ALLAH
adalah anugerah yang terindah
dan aku hanyalah
seorang hamba yang lemah

~FoR oNe MoRe DaY~

Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And even if you did, would you be big enough to stand it? Cherish those around you and never once take them for granted. You would never know when they would leave you or perhaps...when you are going to leave them. Pen-off.

~I dont know why~

despite what had and have happened...
con ogni respiro che prendo...
i pray for you. Pen-off.

~FLasH BacK anD FasT ForWaRd~

Too many things are happening these days that sometimes I hardly notice everything that revolves around me. Of course, I have done my best to be more sensitive with my surrounding, but at times, I failed to stay alert on few important deets. It is a wonder how time flies these days. Between the present and the past, the past and the future, there are always some memories that come back to life. Life can be very rewarding and punishing me at the same time. While I am trying to live life the fullest and breath in every single moment of it, I still hate it when life is playing me. Astaghfirullah. I shouldnt say that, should I?Surely ALLAH knows best and we humans, know not. Pen-off.

~yeAh...whaTever~

i wish people could be more concern about the value of their apologies. Bear that in mind that when you apologise to someone by mouthing the magic word 'sorry' please do not take it lightly. Dont just simply mouth your 'sorry' without any intention not to repeat whatever you are sorry for again. You wronged people (or perhaps ruined them?) and isnt the least that you could do to remedy the damage is by apologising and really mean it with all your heart? And please, dont forget to reflect on whatever that you have done. Muhasabah sikit ok. Kita semua akan dipertanggunjawabkan dengan semua amalan kita, baik atau buruk di akhirat kelak. Bear that in mind. Another thing that needs to be highlighted here is when you do something that your know would irk or humiliate someone and you know beforehand that that particular person/ people do not like whatever you are doing. God, i found this action is totally imprudent and unacceptable. Need me to illustrate it further? sorry, i'm not in a mood for any elaboration and very much mortified with certain people who think that mouthing their cheap 'sorry' alone would bring everything back to normal. Oh please! Dey, put some senses in your mind, and dont be so selfish and insensitve. Dont ruin people trust upon you cause you might earn it back. Whatever happens on the sense of respecting others that was infused in you when you are younger? *sigh* Pen-off.

~WheN We wEre sTucK iN The HigHwaY~

It was an older post actually.With the Internet connection that is so slow and my schedule that was ridiculously packed lately I couldnt post this entry earlier.

I was stuck on the highway for about nine hours last night. Usually the journey from Kuantan-KL will only take about 31/2 hours (or 2++ when my bros are driving). Nine hours being immobile on the highway was quite torturing. There were too many cars either on the road or by the roadside. All the R&R along the highway was packed and all the gas station were closed as they were running out of fuel. Can you imagine how crazy and chaotic it was last nite?Initially, I was planning to skip the Monday session of my post practicum briefing but due to several reasons, i had to forget my former intention. As a result, I had to ditch abe's car together with nuyu and muabarak (oh, he asked me to call him Amad now) and had my first time experience ever of being stuck in the highway. I used to be quite closed with abe and amad when I was small but as we grow more matured (trying to avoid the word OLDer here.. hahaha) the bond i somehow become loose and finally we ended up not talking to one another at all. Of course I still chat with Nuyu for she is female though. I dont know why, perhaps because all of us has grown to be more shy and reserved? No? Back to the former issue what did we do to kill our time and boredom on the highway? Can you guess?

1. Strengthen the bond. We kept on chatting and updates about one another.
2. Reminiscence the old memories. God, they still remember how boyish and fierce I was back then. Mandi sungai, tangkap ikan or etot2*. How i burned their tee while playing the firecrackers and threw some of the crackers on the top of my tok's roof. I was reprimanded for that of course but i could not believe that abe still remembers that. Well, i did try to hide myself while they were talking about me. I swear I could feel that face was getting very hot! HAHHAA...
3. Exchanging ideas on some serious issues that concern our country.
4. Breath in the open air because we had to roll down the mirror for fear we might be the next car yang tersadai kat tepi highway. It was a cold night anyway and I for sure could endure the journey without the aircond.
5. Amad was flirting with the tol girl and asking for a discount since the highway was jammed. Highway isnt supposed to be jammed right?. Hahahah...she was cute anyway. The road was sooooo congested that we could not move further even after paying manually the tol. Same thing happened for the SMART Tag and TnG users. They can just touch the card but not going further.*smirking*
6. Enduring Amad and abe's live performance which at times could be very hilarious.
7. Examining other road users. Some even had a chat with the drivers of the the next car. Memang suasana hari raya btol. Hahaha
8. Trying hard to persuade abe, amad and nuyu that i am still single and do not have any sort of relationship with any guy. I cant understand why they couldnt believe me.
9. Menghabiskan stok2 makanan dalam kereta.
10. Play some tricks and riddles. Kadang2 tu memang ntahape2 but we laughed a lot jgk. Even abe who was driving warned us not to laugh much for fear we might want to go to the toilet.
11. Exchanging some ghost stories
12. Some tazkirah
13. Yawning over and over again.

Apart from the Genting Sempah stop, we really have no intention to pull over for a while. It was late and both abe and amad need to go for work tomorrow morning while me and nuyu attending our lectures and course. I had fun anyway. It was tiring of course but for sure the excitement worth it. So, hows your eid peeps? Pen-off.


*some sort of clams, i dont know what you call in neither in standard Malay or English..only can be found in Pulau Rusa river though i doubt the etot2 are still there. The river was badly polluted now. =(

~saTu pErMuLaAN~

satu ketentuan
satu jawapan
satu pengkahiran
dalam sebuah pencarian
Tuhan
berikan aku kekuatan
dalam sebuah keredhaan
untuk memulakan satu perjalanan
bagiku...ianya satu permulaan

alhamdulillah....

~EmpTyNeSs~

A life of flotsam and jetsam. I'm being washed back to shore, but my ship's sailed away. We had some scars that remind us not to wound ourselves any further. Maybe it was for the best after all. There were times when i succumbed to the pressure of life and cried my heart out. There were times when i really missed all the good times. Dear God, this is a time when courage is a rare commodity. I barely made my next step and almost see my strength shattered before my eyes. It hurts and it cuts me deeper that i could ever imagined. Dear God, lend me some courage for i am at my weakest point of life.

~TiS Eid..PaRT 2~

Here are some trivia of what had happened during eid.

1. cooked rendang for the very first time for my family and friends
2. recite some surah for those who have left me, for shah especially
3. had nasi minyak at cik pah's house
4. entertaining guests
5. get to know more about my neighbours which was quite an impossible mission at first since most of them packed my house at the same time. God, i just realised that there are only 4 Malay houses in my housing area...including ours! p/s: thanks to my students, i can now pronounce the Chinese names correctly!
6. attended shikin's open house
7. replying the non-stopped SMSes which my dad mistakenly thought they were from my bf.
8. snapped heaps of photos. with aiman and aizat are in the house, one could never guessed what is the zany thing that they would do next. the photos are funny and nice though!
9.off to bed early.

i know it sounds kinda dull and boring, which, no matter i am not willing to admit it, it was the former indeed. Ayah said we are going to have our Eid in Kuantan starting this year. I miss the eid that we used to had when i was small, be it in Terengganu or Perak. Should buy some firecrackers earlier. *Sad*