~HoPeLeSs~

Dear readers

Please be informed that as you are reading this post, i've just few hours ago discharged from the hospital. I was involved in a road accident. I saw a person died before my own eyes yesterday and I could still recall the blood running out non-stop from his head and entire body. The worst part is that there was nothing that I could do to help him. Nothing. Nil. Zilch. I was afterall hopeless. Though Kak Mimi (my housemate) said 'Dah sampai perjanjian dier dengan Tuhan...kita x dpt nk wat pape. Eti pn time tuh dh x sedar" I wish that I could do something, anything to help him. Despite the unbearable pain, I should have just plucked my courage and tried my best to help. I cant stop thinking about it. The image keeps repeating in my head. *sigh*. That's why, here I am, in school, stubbornly attending my classes despite the MC given. I really have to do something useful today. Although I have no idea at all who the victim is, lets spare him an Al-Fatihah.

~HaRaPaN jEk~

The changes that I keen to see at present:

1. Cikgu G will stop bugging me - no more unwanted smses, incoming calls, presents and most importantly, stop giving me that 'friendly' a.ka. gatal stares. I don't need one!

2. My students to put extra effort in completing their essays just as much as they love writing up their journal - oh puhleass peeps! Pn Zuraidah might question me over your incomplete essays *muke cuak*

3. Less gossips in the staff room (or shall i said in school? hm~)

4. ..................................................................... er, i really have no idea for the fourth one. One just can't dream too much, can they?


p/s: In the midst of the constant pathetic, have-to bear- trials, I think I found some rays of love. Thanks peeps for all your support and love! I love you all too of course!

~MeNyEraH~

aku lelah
aku ingin mengalah
berikan kasih-Mu Tuhan
agar bisa ku bertahan

~iMmoBiLe~

have you ever walked on a street that leads you to nowhere?
i think i am walking on one..
if only i knew where it leads me...
i need to know...
but i can't say it loud
i'm trapped but i could not escape
my hands are tied and my legs are chained
all i need is a wind of change
so i could smile
and walking for miles


im waiting......

~aKukaH....~

....yang tersalah tafsir?
kembali menjadi musafir
dalam mimpi yang takpernah pasti
tenanglah wahai hati
aku semakin keliru
bila kata menjadi bisu

~GraDuaTioN~

Auckland, 6.35am....

Yes peeps, I'm currently in auckland and had attended my graduation ceremony. I have approximately one hour before I have to shoot off to the airport and catch my flight. *sweating and trying hard to type in a quick manner*

What is so special about the graduation that I'm willing to spend almost RM2256 and fly accross thousand miles just to be present for this event? The answers are simple. The university honours us, the graduands and for a self satisfaction. Alamak, dah ader yang merajuk ke bace statement tuh? ok let me add some more....to meet all the lecturers, friends and of course, huggly wiggly juniors back! (better?)

The university really honours us in a sense that the road in the city is closed and all the graduands have to march their way to the Aoetea Centre where the ceremony takes place. It was awesmoe and cool to march in the city in your regalia, together with other graduands. The people who stood by the road threw flowers, cheer at us and snapped some photos. Surely I can't ask for a better graduation ceremony. Thank God I was in the Universtiy Of Auckland!

However, I cried during and after the ceremony. Firstly because I had a mixed emotion of rejoice + proud + satisfaction. I wish my parents were there, watching me proudly as I was capped by the dean. Luckily Rye and Naim were there with me. They even shed some tears for me. As quoted from Rye ' rase sebak tengok akak atas pentas tuh...dh grad dh akak'. If other graduands recieved flowers, I on the other hand received a pink love shape necklace for my graduation. Oh ya, together with a congratulation card that has a bride and bridegroom dancing together happily on the front of it...hahaha...thanks Rye and Naim. That was cute and of course, hillarious! *smiling*

Apart from the graduation itself, it was good to meet all the people who are of course, close to your heart. I met Sheryll heaps of times, had dinner and lunch with her, even being 'forced' to give a talk to about 75 students teacher. I swear, I almost fainted when she told me that. Eventually, I love sharing my experience with those students, though I received cold stares from some of the students. Anywhere, why should I care? I don't even know most of the students anyway. Some students even asked for my email address and phone numbers as they wanted to post their queries in the future. The juniors on the other hand welcomed me with a heart warming welcome. Nanad and Jenna tried hard to cook a super delicious nasi lemak, Sara with her cool SLR camera who constantly snapped lots of beautiful pictures of me, Teh, who helped me a lot when I wan in need...and others as well...Thank you so much. You guys are really rock!

God, I really need to stop now. Have a pleasent days ahead. I can't promise you readers to update any entry soon. So, till we meet again some other time. I leave you with heaps of love and good prayers. Pen-off.

~HaVe yOu...~

...ever tried something new that you've never thought you would do one day? Well, I did. I did perform traditional Malays and Bumiputera dance in front of the crowd!!! For those who know me..could you guys ever believe it?

Seriously, I couldn't understand how my school management works, but they eventually sent me to a teather and dancing course last week. So, there I was, stood blankly ibn front of the coaches as they thought me the traditional Malays, Indian, Sumazau and Iban dance. It was extremely difficult at first as I had never dance before in my entire live. As one of the coaches once told me "awk ni keras cm kayu". You see, even the male teachers were better off than me at first. Since I could no longer stand the sarcastic comments and decided that I had enough of those frustration stares from the trainers and teammates, I had to kiss my previleage of sleeping on the comfy bed in my hotel room goodbye and practised the steps and movements of each dancing. After much of hardwork, tears and sweat, I finally managed to dance in front of the crowd without any hesitation. Hohoho. It was unbelievably great. That of course, suprised all the trainers and my teammates. Im not fond of dancing though...but when I was sent to attend it, I did it wholeheartedly.

We tend to think that we can't do something without even bother to give it a try first. I am ashamed to admit that I did have such notion when I first stepped into the training room. Im glad that I've learned something throughout the course. Never give up and never say never. Give yourself a chance to explore and experience something novice in your life. If you fail for the first time, try to do it again and again and again. Afterall, practice makes perfect. Think ab0ut it peeps. With that, I pen-off.