~cINTa~

mencintai tak semestinya memiliki
namun mencintai
tidak seharusnya menyakiti
kau tak akan bisa mengerti
selagi tidak kau cuba untuk memahami...

and when i choose to try rather than to cry
i choose to be strong even when things go wrong

~DoaKu uNTuK KaLi iNi~

bilamana ku tak lagi bisa menjadi kuat
menahan dugaan yang semakin berat
maka ya ALLAH
jadikanlah aku setabah Sumayyah
yang sabar walau nyawanya dicabar
jadikan kasihku seindah Khadijah
menganyam kasih hanya untuk insan terpilih
jadikan hujahku sehalus Aisyah
ketajaman akal yang tak pernah disangkal
jadikan amalku setulus Fatimah
yang tegar beribadah walau payah
kejutkanku dari lena yang panjang
agarku tak lalai dari berjuang
takkan ada keagungan cinta
melainkan dari milik-Mu yang Maha Esa

~To SpEaK uP or To sHuT uP~

I dont totally agree with people who choose to remain silence when they know some truths but choose not to mouth them loud. It is soooo....intolerable and wrong! I have seen it before, over and over again, which made me sick and tired of it. Why must people be so selfish and let others suffer the consequences of them being silence? Why must you be scared to let others know the truth? You made a mistake and arent you supposed to try to fix things up again? People might blame you for once but they would be more than happy if you could just admit your mistake rather than letting them put the blames on some other innocent people. *sigh* You dont have to pretend you know, people would eventually learn the truth later...inshallah.

I know, ignorance is a bliss doesnt our prophet have advised us to speak the truth even if it is not pleasant at all? And today, the dogma reoccurred. The same game was put on play and as usual, those who knew the truth, for only-God-knows why, just veiled the truth from being exposed and not even tried to lessen the misunderstanding that had taken place. Although, it was not my story to tell, i plucked the courage to spit out the truth right onto their face. Called me busy body or "kepoh". I dont care at all. Your words does little to ruffle my feathers. As long as the truth was unveiled to those who were involved i can always walk with my head up. Any regret? not at all. "Bercakap benarlah walaupun pahit". Well, not everybody have the courage to do it, but somebody, for sure, HAVE to do it. Think about it peeps. Pen-off.

~HIduP iNi...SaNgaT sINgKaT~

I was lazying in my room when suddenly my mobile rang. The caller was koyee

koyee : Assalamualaikum aziati, sorry kaco ko.
me : [asal baik pulak nada mamat ni malam ni] wslm, nape ye?
koyee : takde pape, saje jek. ingat adik aku aisyah?
me : mesti r ingat. takkan la aku leh lupa adik ko yang comel tu. btw, aku dh beli dh present utk adik ko. besday dier next week kn? ko nak ajak aku datang besday party dier ke?
koyee : inshallah aku memang nak ajak ko datang umah aku next week. ade makan2 sikit. tapi bukan besday la. kenduri arwah.
me : huh? ape ni koyee. aku x rasa kelakar pon [mula rasa tak sedap hati]
koyee : aziati, aisyah dah takde. She passed away two days ago. accident. abang aku pon tengah
koma sekarang. ko doa-doakan la ek. [silence] Sorry aku tak bagi tau awal2. bende ni
memang mengejut.


I barely listen to what he said next. Tuhan, Aisyah yang sangat aku sayang. Aisyah yang akan selalu ketawa dan berlari kepadaku setiap kali aku datang melawat Auntie Ros bersama Kay (koyee's wife). Aisyah yang becok bercerita itu ini padakku, yang selalu menunjukkan lukisan di tadikanya, yang selalu memujukku untuk membawanya ke playground sebab tak ada orang nak teman dier. Aisyah the who kept on insisting me to read her some prophet's stories. Aisyah, the one who kept telling me that she wanted to be a teacher just like me when she grows up. Aisyah who kept making us laugh and smiled eventhough we had a very hard day. God, i really hate using the past tense to describe her. Dear God, please, i am not strong enough as i used to be. Life is punishing me and I barely able to stand at all. Tuhan, besarnya ujianMu untukku...namun disebalik segalanya, kutetap panjatkan syukurku untuk-Mu. KAU membuatkanku sedar, hidup ini...sangat singkat. Maka ya ALLAH, untuk setiap nafas yang tersisa...alhamdulillah..jadikanlah hari esok lebih baik dari hari ini ya ALLAH.

~PeNaT bILa BuaT BaIk?~

Assalamualaikum....

For my second entry, i love to quote some verses from our Holy Quran

"So remain on the right course as you have been commanded, [you] and those who have turned back with you [ to ALLAH], and do not transgress. Indeed, HE is Seeing of what you doing"
(Hud : 112)

Need some more? If you check this verse in Quran and recite further, inshallah you'll come accross this verse

"And be patient, for indeed ALLAH does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good"
(Hud : 115)

Ok, why do i qoute these two verses today? Ni nak citer la ni. Macam ni, pernah tak korang rasa penat buat baik kat orang, tapi those people in return, keep doing something bad to you? Have you ever felt frustrated because although you keep doing good deeds, the bad things or unpleasant incidents keep hunting you? You were lost and couldnt find any way out. You feel depressed and wanna give up. You can't breath, cant sleep well and cant think well? Rasa cm pernah alami tak?

Kenapa yer bila kita buat baik kat orang, kita selalu berharap agar orang tu akan buat baik pada kita jugak? Kita ni buat baik kat orang sebab kita nak keredhaan manusia atau keredhaan Yang Maha Esa? [ouch!] Ok, hari ni kita check balik diri kita, niat kite, kalo tersalah niat, cepat2 la betulkan niat supaya kita tak menyesal kelak.

Masa praktikum ni, so many things had happened to me. I remembered Jaime told me " mula- mula aku ingat masalah aku la yang paling besar, tapi bila tengok engkau, aku rasa insaf". Her words had successfully slammed me back into reality. Bila mana ALLAH uji kita, kalo peringatan tu tak dapat kat kita, harap2 orang lain dapat la belajar dari kita. Life is a constant lesson. I remembered asking myself "kenapa ALLAH uji aku sampai macam ni sekali? kenapa tak uji orang lain jugak macam ni? kenapa aku kena buat baik kat diaorang tu padahal diaorang buat macam2 kat aku?" and in my prayers "Ya ALLAH, i really cant handle them,cant take it anymore, please give me some lights and way out". Bile fikir-fikir balik rasa malu sangat. Bukankah ALLAH tidak akan menguji seseorang melainkan perkara yg mereka mampu untuk menghadapinya? Pardon me ALLAH. Make me a better Muslimah.

So, kesimpulannya, buat baiklah kepada orang without expecting any reward from those people, unless from ALLAH. Check back those two verses earlier. ALLAH, inshallah, tidak akan meyia-nyiakan setiap kebaikan yang kita lakukan. Bersabarlah, kerana sabar itu cantik. Syurga itu mahal harganya. Check balik niat kita. Kenapa mesti rasa penat bila buat baik? May ALLAH bless us all.

~CuRTaINs Up~

Assalamualaikum...

There would be times in life when we have to give in to others. At last, I succumbed to my dear cousin's request. I fail to uphold my headstrong side of not opening another blog apart from the one i have in friendster . Either i fail at life or she can be VERY persuasive. Leaving with these two choices, i rather choose the second one *smirking* So here i am, writing (or typing) something for my real first entry ever. Mind you readers, I have nothing to do with the rossa's lyrics which had been welcoming you for the past several days nor do i with the layouts and so on. As quoted from her " i made one for you anyway, just post something and i take care of the rest" Huhuhu~ Life, sometimes can be so convenienced. So since my cousin had gone through a great length of troubles to set up my new blog, i intended to keep the first post and the layouts, perhaps as a token of appreciation to her (well..i might change the layouts bits later on). I love the rossa's song anyway. I remembered reading the novel (Ayat-ayat cinta) over and over again. So having the lyric in my blog is not a big deal afterall. Another kind reminder to you readers who happen to read this is that unlike my cousin, i am so a tech-NO-logy person, so i might take times in figuring out how to go about managing the blog. Yes, what a lame person i am. I know, you don't have to say it loud peeps. (.^_^.) Actually i dont hope to have loads of readers cause the lesser people know about it the better, another philosophy of mine. What i might post later might be something that is not beneficial to all or something that might influence others to make mistake (nauzubillah). Kelak, kita semua akan dipertanggungjawabkan dgn apa yg kita buat di dunia ini bukan? So what's the point of having a public blog anyway? Well, it is merely to kill my time, and sharpen my rusty-writing-skills. Prinsip dia senang jek. Kalo jumpe blog ni jumpe la, kalo tak jumpe, tak payah cari. So, new blog, new hopes. I DO hope you readers could gain some insights from my posts later. I thank you for reading. Happy lurking around my territory though there's nothing much yet.

~The Lyric~

Rossa - Ayat Ayat Cinta

Desir pasir di padang tandus
Segersang pemikiran hati
Terkisah ku di antara cinta yang rumit

Bila keyakinanku datang
Kasih bukan sekadar cinta
Pengorbanan cinta yang agung
Ku pertaruhkan

reff:
Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
Cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
Ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
Cintaku padamu
Bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
Seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama
Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta
Ketika ku bersujud

Bila keyakinanku datang
Kasih bukan sekedar cinta
Pengorbanan cinta yang agung
Ku pertaruhkan

repeat reff

Ketika ku bersujud